Luke and Sarah, Sittin

Dave Deutsch writes:

Although Springtime is the time for amour, astute Luke Ford readers can’t help but be aware that whatever the calendar may say, love is in the air. Not since a young Dan Quayle made his appearance on the national scene has a vice-presidential candidate so captivated Luke with his combination of conservative politics, non-threatening good looks, and feminine charm, as Sarah Palin. Of course, many may find a touch of sadness in here, at the thought that our Byronic hero may find himself once again with a love unrequited (and as he learned before, a dozen torrid nights with Keira Knightley can’t make up for the pain of one restraining order from Natalie Portman). But is it so unlikely that he and the stern governess might find themselves together? It may be less farfetched than some may imagine.

1. Sarah seems to love rugged, outdoorsy he-man types. While those who know Luke understand that the most exposure to nature he gets is eating in the sukkah, his beard lends him a certain Grizzly Adams-esque virile façade. Combine that with his Aussie accent, and all he needs to do is allude tersely to the occasional croc or shark encounter, and she’ll fall for it hook, line and sinker (kind of the way any Asian can convincingly pretend to be a martial artist)

2. Sarah needs a man who is willing to stay in the background, and, say what you will about him, Luke is among the most self-effacing men in the world. The only reason I don’t say he is the most, is because of course, he’d deny it.

3. While at first glance, religious differences may post a problem, Sarah attended a function at her church featuring a leader of Jews for Jesus. Where some may see Luke’s devotion to the Holy Torah to be an insurmountable obstacle, she may relish the challenge of making him a “completed Jew.”

4. Clearly, she needs somebody to take charge of her family’s ethical guidance, and who better than a man beloved by many as a moral leader (he couldn’t say it if it weren’t true).

Ultimately, it may all depend upon how she does in November. A loss might leave her vulnerable and receptive to Luke’s Pirkei Avos-like wisdom and comfort. And failing that, to paraphrase Herzl, if you will it, and you have a van, a pocketful of wishes, and a fistful of roofies, it is no dream.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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